I didn't allow myself to start reading Kaling's book until I hustled through my library stack first. Once I got through two of my borrowed books, I sat down with Kaling yesterday and read the entire book in one night and an hour this morning after I woke up.
It's charming and funny and a little bit sassy. I'm not sure I would recommend it to everyone, but here are a few bits that I found particularly amusing:
"Aspen looked the way I had always imagined Switzerland to be, down to the beautiful blonde women walking around in shearling coats with fur pom-poms. Aspen is one of those places that looks rustic but where everything is actually sickeningly expensive. This was on a whole other level from New York, which was just plain old grossly expensive. Aspen was so expensive I was surprised it wasn't populated with the children of Middle Eastern oil moguls. We were put up at a Days Inn-style motel on the edge of town, but made the smart decision, upon waking up in the morning, of moving our hang-out time to the lobbies of the fanciest hotels. One day, we snuck into the gym at the St. Regis and did the elliptical machines for twenty exhilarating, frightening minutes."
I love the above quote because even though I have not done it myself, I can easily see myself sneaking into a hotel gym. Unfortunately, from my limited experience here in Maui, you need to swipe a hotel card key to get into the locked swanky gym.
"I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists. It's not because I have embarrassing playlists called "Setting the Mood for Sex-Time" or whatever. My playlists are humiliating because my workout mixes have dorky titles, like "Go for It, Girl!" and "You Can Do It, Mindy!" You might also see that some of my playlists are simply two songs on repeat fifteen times, like I'm a psycho getting pumped up to murder the president."
My workout playlists have similar titles, but I haven't chosen two songs to put on repeat for thirty minutes. I need variety to force myself to run.
"If it weren't for my imagination, I would weigh ten thousand pounds. This is because the only way I am able to exercise anymore is through a long and vivid revenge fantasy."
One of which is that her husband is kidnapped and murdered, and she stops speaking forever.
"I am a mute. But a mute who goes to the gym, for I run and do lunges and squats until I have no body fat anymore and can do fifty chin-ups and twenty-five pull-ups. Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke."
Yes, they are, Mindy. Yes they are! I used to be able to do five pull-ups. But now that I no longer have regular access to a pull-up bar or the proper motivation, I can only do three.
I guess the reason why I really enjoyed Mindy Kaling's book is because she and I have similar feelings about similar topics, but she writes about them in perhaps more amusing ways than I am capable.
If you are looking for someone who will make you put the book down so you can wipe tears away from your eyes, you need to check out David Sedaris. Especially since the holidays are here. He has a great collection of hysterical essays called Holidays on Ice. David Sedaris is frequently featured on NPR, and if you can find tracks of him reading his material, it's a treat.
I remember during my freshman or sophomore year of college that my cousin and his wife picked me up to drive me to my aunt and uncle's house for Thanksgiving break. We put my suitcase in the back of their Subaru, and I climbed into the backseat of their car alongside a small animal traveling case that housed their new kitten. For the beginning of the ride, we listened to a mixed CD that my cousin had put together, but once it was over, he put in NPR's "This American Life" that he had on CDs.
My cousin and his wife are huge fans of NPR. I'm a little less excited about talk radio. Even at its very finest, I can't help but fall asleep (actually, this is not exclusive to just NPR and talk radio, this is also to audiobooks of any kind when played in the car. I remember missing vast chunks of Harry Potter when driving with Mom across California looking at colleges because she loved listening to it on tape and I promptly fell right asleep. Thank God for those movies or else I would never have caught up!).
As we were driving through the dark towards Boise, listening to the soothing voices on the radio station, I took the kitten out of its traveling carrier and let her curl up on my chest, and the two of us fell asleep together in the back seat.
I woke up later during the drive to David Sedaris reading one of his essays about the family dog. When I registered that we were still listening to talk radio and there was no music to be had, I almost drifted back to sleep, but I was prevented in doing so because David Sedaris is just ridiculously funny.
I started laughing so hard that I woke up the kitten. She was not amused.
She was further put out upon arriving at my aunt and uncle's and finding out that there was a dog. I have a great many photos of the cat and dog doing a Mexican standoff of sorts. The kitten is perched out of the dog's reach, while the dog is wildly curious and wishes the cat would come down and play.
Actually, I just looked around on iPhoto, and I no longer have those pictures. I guess I got a little overzealous in creating more space on my hard drive and deleted photos that I deemed no longer necessary. Who knew that I would be writing about this kitten and this dog and wanting a particular photo to illustrate my point?
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